upintheair

UP IN THE AIR screenplay by Jason Reitman Sheldon Turner from the novel by Walter Kirn There is no "I" in team. - Common Business Axiom Secure your own mask before assisting others. - Common Pre-Flight Instruction A SPOTLIGHT reveals RYAN BINGHAM standing at a PODIUM. He unzips a BACKPACK and sets it down beside him.

RYAN

How much does your life weigh?

Ryan pauses to let us consider this.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack... I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders... You feel them?

(gives us a beat)

Now, I want you to pack it with all the stuff you have in your life. Start with the little things. The stuff in drawers and on shelves. The collectables and knick-knacks. Feel the weight as it adds up. Now, start adding the larger stuff. Your clothes, table top appliances, lamps, linens, your TV. That backpack should be getting pretty heavy at this point - Go Bigger. Your couch, your bed, your kitchen table. Stuff it all in... Your car, get it in there... Your home, whether you have a studio apartment or a two story house, I want you to stuff it into that backpack.

Ryan takes a beat to let the weight sink in.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Now try to walk.

We hear people around us chuckling. Ryan smiles. Reveal:

The kind that shifts between lower income corporate retreats and lower income weddings. The few dozen people seem to be visualizing as told.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Kinda hard, isn't it? This is what we do to ourselves on a daily basis. We weigh ourselves down until we can't even move. And make no mistake - Moving is living.

We see nodding. People's gears turning.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Now, I'm going to set your backpack on fire. What do you want to take out of it? Photos? Photos are for people who can't remember. Drink some gingko and let the photos burn. In fact let everything burn and imagine waking up tomorrow with nothing.

(a beat of emphasis)

It's kind of exhilarating isn't it? That is how I approach every day.

A titter through the crowd.

A FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT is looking directly at us.

FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT

Do you want the cancer?

Turn to see RYAN looking back. Handsome. Anonymous. Right now - Confused.

RYAN

Excuse me?

FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT

(same delivery)

Do you want the cancer?

Ryan furrows - What the hell is going on here? The flight attendant raises her hand to reveal a CAN OF SODA.

FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT

The can, sir?

RYAN

Oh... No. Um, no thank you.

The flight attendant moves to the next aisle. Ryan takes a beat, then returns to his work.

Two words - Subordinate chic. Seated at a tiny table is RYAN. The Grim Reaper in a suit. We see a series of REAL PEOPLE react to the news of being fired. They should be non-actors (actual victims of recent layoffs) that can react organically to the news with authenticity. Some are hurt. Others are upset and even abusive. The series concludes with... STEVE (AN ACTOR) ... who's on the verge of tears.

STEVE

Who the fuck are you?

FREEZE on Ryan.

RYAN

(V.O.)

Excellent question. Who the fuck am I? Poor Steve has worked here for seven years.

FLASH IMAGES:

RYAN

(V.O.)

He's never had a meeting with me before...

Steve in a small meeting.

RYAN

(V.O.)

...or passed me in the hall...

Steve passes a female coworker.

RYAN

(V.O.)

... or told me a story in the break room....

Steve laughs at a coworker's story.

RYAN

(V.O.)

And that's because I don't work here. I work for another company that lends me out to pussies like Steve's boss...

Steve's BOSS sits at his desk. Subtitle reads - "A Big Pussy"

RYAN

(V.O.)

... who don't have the balls to sack their own employees. And in some cases, for good reason. Because, people do crazy shit when they get fired.

FLASH IMAGES: Steve wipes off his boss's desk. Steve shreds sensitive documents. Steve pours bleach into the communal coffee pot. Steve loads an assault rifle. He stands up to get a view of his coworkers on a coffee break. BACK TO:

Steve is trying to hold it together.

RYAN

(V.O.)

And that's where I come in.

STEVE

What did I... do? What could I have done differently here?

RYAN

This is not an assessment of your productivity. It's important not to personalize this.

Steve scoffs at this. Ryan slides Steve a PACKET.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Steve, I want you to review this packet. Take it seriously. I think you're going to find a lot of answers in there.

STEVE

(dismissive)

Oh, I'm sure it's going be really helpful.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Look, anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it's because they sat there that they were able to do it.

And just for a moment, Steve looks hopeful.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

I'm going to need your key card.

STEVE

Right...

Steve begins removing it from his wallet.

RYAN

Take the day. Put together your personal things. Talk to your co-workers. Tomorrow, go out and get some exercise. Go for a jog. Give yourself routines and pretty soon you'll find your legs.

Steve nods and gets up to leave. Just as he's about to walk out, he stops and turns back.

STEVE

Wait, how do I get in touch with you?

RYAN

Don't worry. We'll be in touch soon. This is just the beginning.

Steve nods and exits the room.

RYAN

(V.O.)

I'll never see Steve again.

The choreography of Ryan's packing is worthy of Tchaikovsky. A coat slides off a hanger... A travel toothbrush folds closed like a switchblade... A briefcase clicks onto a roll-away bag... A hand flips a light switch without looking.

Ryan is at the check out desk.

CHECKOUT GIRL

Do you have your Hilton Honors Card with you?

Ryan smiles... "Do I?" He hands it to her, close enough to camera, that we get a nice big close up of it. She runs the card and the screen pops up with information that makes her blush.

CHECKOUT GIRL

Oh my God... Do you like, live, at the Hilton?

Ryan nods in faux modesty.

Ryan pulls up to one of the spaces marked with the #1 GOLD PRESIDENTS CLUB emblem. He hops out and a uniformed man with a handheld device begins to punch in the license plate number. Ryan pulls out his HERTZ PRESIDENTS CLUB CARD and places it nice and close to lens so we can see it. The card slides through the handheld device and we see the DIGITAL NUMBER increase by a few thousand points.

The automated GLASS DOORS slide open. Ryan enters the concourse and takes a deep breath of the temperately controlled air. He has arrived.

RYAN

(V.O.)

This is where I live.

Subtitles - "Airworld" Ryan skips the long lines and steps directly into the AAdvantage Executive Platinum line. Glorious close-up of Ryan's AAdvantage Executive Platinum CARD sliding through the AUTOMATED MACHINE. Were it any sexier, we'd hear a moan. Maybe we even do. Immediately, the AIRPORT CLERK registers and perks up.

AIRPORT CLERK

Pleasure to see you again, Mr. Bingham.

RYAN

(V.O.)

When I run my card, the system automatically prompts the desk clerk to greet me with this exact statement.

We see it again...

AIRPORT CLERK

Pleasure to see you again, Mr. Bingham.

Ryan nods back to the clerk.

RYAN

(V.O.)

Had my status simply been gold or God-forbid, silver. I might have gotten a hello or a smile... Maybe.

Ryan continues to hit buttons, swiftly checking in.

RYAN

(V.O.)

Loyalty is earned and rewarded with these small touches. It's these kinds of systemized friendly touches that keep my world in orbit.

A ticket begins printing. Ryan snaps it up.

Ryan steps up and observes his line choices. He finds a few Asian businessmen and hops in behind them. JUMP CUT TO: RYAN MOVING THROUGH THE SECURITY SCREENING It's a beautiful choreographed ballet of a bag handle collapsing, shoes coming off, a laptop going in a separate tray, wallet and watch sliding into a shoe, a boarding card sliding into a back pocket... both hands always moving, performing separate actions... It really is gorgeous.

Ryan enters and presents his ADMIRALS CLUB CARD. It has a hologram. The ADMIRALS CLUB HOSTESS immediately smiles.

ADMIRALS CLUB HOSTESS

Welcome back, Mr. Bingham.

Ryan walks past a stack of newspapers on the way to the buffet, the whole time framed by an enormous window overlooking the tarmac.

RYAN (V.O.)

All the things you probably hate about travelling - The recycled air. The artificial lighting. The digital juice dispensers and mini pizzas stacked to their heat lamps are the warm reminders that I am home.

With that comment, Ryan slides into a leather club seat. A DIGITAL DISPLAY reads: "Thank You For Your Loyalty". He opens his briefcase and pulls out his ITINERARY. He scans it. We see a string of flights, car rentals, and stays at Hitons. Then, something makes him frown. He pulls out his cell phone and dials...

INTERCUT WITH:

Ryan's assistant, Kevin, is not happy to be there.

KEVIN

Ryan Bingham's office.

RYAN

You have me in a Dodge Stratus in Kansas City.

KEVIN

They are completely out of all full sized sedans...

RYAN

(interrupts)

Did you?...

KEVIN

(not the first time)

Yes, I reminded them of your remarkable #1 Gold Club status and years in the program. They are moving mountains to see you in a Sebring.

RYAN

Fair enough. Any other messages?

KEVIN

Your sister Kara called. Needs to speak urgently about your sister's wedding. I told her you were midair and not even I knew your final destination.

RYAN

Well done.

KEVIN

And you got an invitation to speak at GoalQuest in Vegas.

Ryan pauses.

RYAN

GoalQuest twenty?

FLASH IMAGE:

We push in on an EASEL with a SIGN that features RYAN'S HEADSHOT. Underneath his name, it reads: "What's In Your Backpack?"

Ryan delivers his speech with a smile.

RYAN (V.O.)

Every once in a while I do speaking engagements. Motivational kind of stuff. But GoalQuest... We're talking major Tony Robbins shit.

Kevin examines the invitation emblazoned with a big "XX".

KEVIN

It's got a hologram. They're calling it Dos Equis. That's some pretty major Tony Robbins shit there.

RYAN

Talk about burying the lead.

(exhales)

I'll check in when...

KEVIN

Hold on, I have Craig Gregory for you...

RYAN

I... ah, fuck...

INTERCUT WITH:

Four words - Store-bought sports memorabilia.

CRAIG GREGORY

How's the road warrior?

RYAN

Twenty minutes from boarding into a world of bliss.

CRAIG GREGORY

Great numbers out of Phoenix. You know Big Auto is going to drop another 10K this month.

RYAN

No kidding?

CRAIG GREGORY

Yeah, Christmas came early. Wish I could have you in five places at once. I need you back in Omaha by the end of the week.

RYAN

I thought you needed me everywhere.

CRAIG GREGORY (CONT'D)

We got something big - Game changer.

RYAN

I don't know why you ever bring me in. Wherever I go, the money follows. Let me plant seeds, they'll grow to Oaks.

Craig checks out a CUTE INTERN.

CRAIG GREGORY

I'm thinking of planting seeds right now.

RYAN

What are we talking about here?

CRAIG GREGORY

You'll see.

(changes directions)

Today, I took my first crap in two weeks. Hallelujah.

RYAN

That's me, hanging up on you.

CRAIG GREGORY

Good. I love that sound.

Ryan sits one row behind the bulkhead. Left side. Aisle.

RYAN (V.O.)

To know me is to fly with me. I'm the aisle, you're the window - trapped.

Reveal - A man next to Ryan. Some BUSINESSMAN between cities. He talks, drink in hand, but we don't hear him.

RYAN (V.O.)

We start chatting, impersonally at first. Our moderate politics, our sinking opinions on the American service industry.

BUSINESSMAN AND RYAN MAKING SUGGESTIONS

RYAN (V.O.)

You recommend a hotel in Tulsa. I tip you off to a rib joint in Fort Worth.

BUSINESSMAN TELLS A JOKE. HIS HANDS GESTURE.

RYAN (V.O.)

You tell me your best joke. I've heard it before, but listen anyway.

Ryan laughs out loud.

TURBULENCE. THE BUSINESSMAN TIGHTENS HIS SEAT BELT.

RYAN (V.O.)

Nothing like turbulence to cement a bond. Soon you're telling me about family.

THE MAN SPEAKS ABOUT SOMETHING THAT OBVIOUSLY DISTURBS HIM.

RYAN (V.O.)

Your wife just went back to work but you can't intervene because you sure could use the extra paycheck and besides, last June she read some book and woke up one morning a feminist.

THE MAN LEANS BACK, ARMS CROSSED, WITH A FAR OFF LOOK.

RYAN (V.O.)

And that if your windfall ever came through, you'd quit and spend the rest of your days restoring vintage speedboats.

(saying it with him)

The water. That's where you belong.

Their PLANE LANDS.

As the plane begins to taxi to the gate, both Ryan and the Businessman pull out their cards.

RYAN (V.O.)

We exchange cards and slot them next to countless others.

The dull bell "dings" to let us know it's safe to stand. Ryan and the Businessman get up and open the overheads.

RYAN (V.O.)

Fast friends aren't my only friends, but my best friends.

Ryan and the Businessman walk next to each, now completely ignoring each other as if they never shared a word.

RYAN (V.O.)

Sad? Not really. We're a busy bunch. I'm peaceful. I'm in my element here. I suppose I'm a sort of mutation, a new species. I live between the margins of my itineraries.

Ryan and the Businessman reach a point that separates - CONNECTING FLIGHTS go left / LONG TERM PARKING goes right. They share an awkward smile with a nod, then head in their separate directions.

Ryan is checking out TIES when his cell phone rings. He checks the I.D.- UNAVAILABLE. He weighs it for a second.

RYAN

(picks up)

Hello?

KARA (O.C.)

Hi Ryan.

Ryan mouths a silent "fuck".

INTERCUT WITH:

Kara is Ryan's sister. Her home overflows with books, photos, family collectables, and kid's artwork.

RYAN (V.O.)

Every family has one person who is the glue. The one who keeps the genealogy in check. That's my sister Kara - The glue.

It just so happens that Kara is GLUING her daughter's school project mobile together.

RYAN

Hey Kara.

KARA

How are you holding up?

RYAN

Just fine. You? The kids?

KARA

(lying)

Missy's outstanding. Matthew made varsity. How's the road?

Ryan exits the store and we realize we are in...

Ryan hops onto a PEOPLE MOVER.

RYAN

Couldn't be better.

KARA

That's good. So, Ryan?

RYAN

(cautious)

Yeah?

KARA

I didn't even want to have to ask you for this, because I know how you are about... doing things for others...

Ryan rolls his eyes.

KARA (CONT'D)

But we're coming in on three weeks to go for Julie's wedding and there's something we could really use your help on.

RYAN

Yeah.

KARA

We've been sending people these kits so they can print out photos of Julie and Jim on cardboard, and take photos of them in interesting places kind of like that gnome in the French movie.

RYAN

Why?

KARA

(sighs)

Because it's Julie's wedding... and she thinks it's fun. Does it matter why?

RYAN

How is Julie?

KARA

Would you call her? She thinks you've turned to butter - Disappeared. You're awfully isolated, the way you live.

RYAN

Isolated? I'm surrounded.

KARA

Your assistant told me you're going to be in Vegas.

RYAN

Did he?

KARA

Can you get a photo of the cut-out in front of the Luxor Pyramid?

RYAN

That place is a shit hole. No one stays there.

KARA

Jesus, Ryan, I'm not asking you to check in. Can you just take a stupid photo?

RYAN

I'm going to try my best.

KARA

Well, thank you for trying your best.

Ryan sits at one of the couch & table set-ups. He's going over some paperwork. He notices an attractive professionally dressed woman, ALEX, sifting through her purse. She sets a pair of car keys with a MAESTRO TAG on the table.

RYAN

You're satisfied with Maestro?

ALEX

Yeah, I am.

RYAN

They're stingy with their miles. I like Hertz.

ALEX

Hertz keeps its vehicles too long. If a car's over twenty-thousand miles, I won't drive it.

Ryan is intrigued.

RYAN

Maestro doesn't instant check out. I like to park and go.

ALEX

Hertz doesn't guarantee Navigation.

RYAN

Funny, you don't seem like a girl who needs directions.

ALEX

I hate asking for directions. That's why I get a Nav.

RYAN

The new outfit, Colonial, isn't bad.

ALEX

Is that a joke?

After a beat.

RYAN

Yes.

ALEX

Their kiosk placement is a joke.

RYAN

Never have available upgrades.

ALEX

(passionate)

It's basically a fleet of shit boxes - Don't know how they're still in business.

RYAN

(I love you)

I'm Ryan.

ALEX

Alex.

RYAN

So are you going to join me?

She breaks into a smile.

JUMP CUT TO:

Empty glasses litter the table. Ryan and Alex have taken over a couch and have the contents of their wallets spread out - All MEMBERSHIP CARDS.

RYAN

(grabs one of Alex's cards)

Maplewood Card? How dare you bring that into this palace.

ALEX

Hilton offers equal value and better food - But the Maplewood gives out warm cookies at check in.

RYAN

They got you with the cookies?

ALEX

I'm a sucker for simulated hospitality.

RYAN

There's actually an industry term for that. It's a mixture of faux and homey. It's faumey.

Alex grabs Ryan's AMERICAN CONCIERGE KEY CARD.

ALEX

Oh my God. I've heard about these, but never seen one in person. Is this a...?

RYAN

Concierge Key. Yeah.

ALEX

I love the weight.

RYAN

Graphite. I was pretty excited the day that puppy came in.

ALEX

I'll say. I put up pretty pedestrian numbers. Sixty thou a year, domestic.

RYAN

(trying)

That's not bad.

ALEX

Don't patronize me. What's your total?

RYAN

That's a personal question.

ALEX

Oh please...

RYAN

(playful)

I hardly know you.

ALEX

Show some hubris. Impress me.

(suggestive)

I bet it's huge.

RYAN

You have no idea.

ALEX

Come on...

(holds her hands eight inches apart)

Is it this big?

(extends a few inches)

... this big?

RYAN

Let's just say I've got a number in mind and I haven't hit it yet.

Alex smiles, fair enough. Admires the CONCIERGE KEY CARD.

ALEX

This is pretty fucking sexy.

RYAN

I hope it doesn't cheapen our relationship.

ALEX

We're two people who get turned on by elite status. We may have to settle for cheap.

RYAN

There's nothing cheap about loyalty.

Alex looks into Ryan's eyes and gives him unspoken permission to take her right there and then.

Ryan and Alex walk down a curved corridor, suppressing laughter. There's no adult way to go back to somebody's hotel room. Once at the door, Ryan tries his KEY CARD, but it doesn't work.

He reaches into his pocket and comes up with five other key cards from recent trips.

RYAN

I really have to start throwing these out.

He tries a couple.

ALEX

We can always use that room with the ice machine.

Ryan chuckles. He finds the right key and opens the door.

Everything is scattered from a marathon Fuck. Ryan and Alex are laying on the bed, sprawled out on their backs like murder victims.

RYAN

Good call on the towel rack.

ALEX

Thanks. I liked how you burritoed me in the sofa cushions.

RYAN

I was improvising.

ALEX

Too bad we didn't make it to the closet.

RYAN

We got to do this again.

JUMP CUT TO:

TWO LAPTOPS SIDE BY SIDE

RYAN

I'm in Newark on the 12th, Madesto on the 13th, Oklahoma City on the 15th.

ALEX

Any Southwest? I'm swinging through Albuquerque the week of the 16th?

RYAN

No, but I'll be in Florida by the 20th.

ALEX

Miami?

RYAN

Ft. Lauderdale.

ALEX

That's nothing.

RYAN

Forty minutes.

They simultaneously type each other into their calendars.

ALEX

I should probably go back to my room so I can wake up in my bed.

RYAN

I think that's the lady like thing to do.

Ryan drops Alex off at her door. She flips the "do not disturb" on her door handle and kisses Ryan good night.

The door closes. Ryan smiles to himself.

Sprinklers doing their job. One's broken.

Looking through the first floor window, we see Ryan doing laps in the pool.

Ryan gets a shoe shine.

The CLERK swipes Ryan card.

A CAR RETURN CLERK slides Ryan's card through a device.

Ryan SWIPES his FREQUENT FLIER CARD through the automated machine.

A FEMALE DESK ASSISTANT notices the number, looks up at Ryan, and has a tiny orgasm right there.

Ryan looks out the OVAL WINDOW to the landscape of Omaha.

RYAN (V.O.)

Last year, I spent three hundred twenty two days on the road.

Ryan wheels passed a couple that leaps into each other's arms.

RYAN (V.O.)

Which means that I had to spend forty three miserable days at home.

Ryan steps up to an upscale building with little character, searching for his keys at the bottom of his bag. Finally finds them and opens the front door.

Ryan presses his floor, when a NOSEY NEIGHBOR slides in.

NOSEY NEIGHBOR

Ryan?

RYAN

(doesn't know his name)

Hi...

NOSEY NEIGHBOR

Feels like it's been months, busy man. We missed you at our Summer party.

RYAN

Yeah, sorry I couldn't be there.

NOSEY NEIGHBOR

We've been trying to get a vote on the new landscaping. Can I e-mail you the plans...? We'd love to get a final tally.

RYAN

It's fine. Really. I'll go with the majority.

NOSEY NEIGHBOR

Sometimes I forget that you even live here. You could probably save money and move into a hotel.

RYAN

(dead serious)

I looked into it, but the IRS requires a permanent address for employment. Otherwise, they classify you as a vagrant.

Ding! - Ryan gets off at his floor.

NOSEY NEIGHBOR

Oh.

Ryan walks in and sets his bag down. Reveal - the place is empty... Like empty, empty.

Ryan opens the fridge - Chinese take out. Pizza box. Bottle of Vodka. Takes a whiff of something - not good.

WOMAN'S VOICE

Hey neighbor.

Ryan turns to find Dianne, a pretty woman just shy of forty.

RYAN

Hey yourself.

They hug - It's just intimate enough to know they've violated the rules of sleeping with your neighbors.

DIANNE

(hands over a package)

I signed for this while you were gone.

RYAN

Thanks. Hope it wasn't a bother.

Ryan opens it and finds the CUT-OUT of his sister Julie and her fiance Jim. It's an eighteen inch card stock photo of Jim hugging Julie from behind.

DIANNE

(re: photo)

They seem happy.

RYAN

It's my sister. She's getting married. Haven't met the guy yet.

DIANNE

Lots of luck.

RYAN

I know, right?

They share a smile. Then, Dianne goes to leave.

DIANNE

It's good to see you. Feels like a while this time.

RYAN

Hey, you want to come over tonight?

Dianne gets a little uncomfortable.

DIANNE

Actually, I kind of started seeing somebody.

RYAN

Oh, that's... that's great.

DIANNE

Yeah, we're having drinks tonight if you want to come over.

RYAN

That's okay... I' think I'll settle in.

Dianne gives a smile/nod and exits. Ryan take another long look at the CUT-OUT. He shakes his head.

A downtown midsize high rise.

The company has piled in, standing room only. Assistants and interns watch through the windows.

Craig addresses the group including his own superiors.

CRAIG GREGORY

Just thrilled to have everyone under one roof. Welcome home boys.

A couple odd looks from road warriors a decade his senior.

CRAIG GREGORY

I know there's are lot of whispering about why we're all here. Retailers are down twenty percent. Auto industry is in the dump. Housing market doesn't have a heartbeat. This is our moment. It's one of the worst times on record for America... and I don't want to be standing here two years from now, wondering how we missed this window of opportunity.

A strangely encouraged response from the group.

CRAIG GREGORY

Now, last Summer we received a dynamite young woman by way of Cornell. She challenged us with some big ideas. My first reaction was, who does this kid think she is? But when I started to give a listen, I was pretty knocked out. So now, with a little peek into our future - Natalie Keener.

Natalie stands up.

NATALIE

If there's one word I want to leave you with today, it's this...

Natalie clicks on her POWER POINT PRESENTATION.

POWER POINT SLIDE: "GLOCAL"

Everyone including Ryan attempts to pronounce it.

NATALIE

Glocal.

POWER POINT SLIDE: "GLOBAL ---> LOCAL"

NATALIE

Our global must become local.

POWER POINT SLIDE: A slide shows PEOPLE X 250.

NATALIE

This company keeps twenty three people on the road, at least two hundred fifty days a year. It's expensive and it's inefficient. When I came to Craig three months ago with this, he told me, and quite astutely - it's only a problem if you have a solution. Well, today I stand before you with jus that.

She turns around and fires up her monitor. Sitting in a video conference session is a young man in a suit.

NATALIE

You all know Ned in reception.

Various people say hello to Ned.

NATALIE

Today, I'm going to fire Ned.

(aside)

Sorry, Ned. I'm sure H.R. will hire you back this afternoon.

Ned smiles. People chuckle in the conference room. One guy jokes "Don't count on it."

NATALIE

Ned could be any employee in any one of our client's locations worldwide. Strategy packets would be shipped in advance. Ned would be given a seat and find one of our transition specialists waiting for him.

Natalie turns to the monitor and proceeds to fire Ned. It is a pretty dry process and lacks Ryan's charm.

NATALIE

Mr. Laskin, the reason we're having this conversation today is your position is no longer available.

NED

(from a script)

I don't understand. I'm fired?

NATALIE

Hearing the words "You've been let go" is never easy. Change is always scary. But consider the following -

(using Ryan's line)

Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it's because they sat there that they were able to do it.

RYAN

(quietly)

That's my fucking line.

NED

Well, what happens now?

NATALIE

This is the first step of a process that will end with you in a new job that fulfills you.

NED

Yeah, but, how does it work?

NATALIE

I want you to take that packet in front of you.

Ned picks up the packet.

NATALIE

Review it. All the answers you're looking for are inside. Start filling out the necessary information and before you know it, you'll be on your way to new opportunities.

Ned starts to peruse the packet with fake interest.

NATALIE

Now Ned, I'm going to need you to go back to your desk and start putting together your things. As a favor to me, I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread the news just yet. Panic doesn't help anybody.

NED

I understand.

NATALIE

Have a good day, Mr. Laskin and good luck with your future.

NED

Thank you.

Ned gets up and goes to leave.

NATALIE

Give it up for Ned.

People clap and tease him a little.

POWER POINT: An animation of one monitor becoming multiple monitors, all tied into a central switch board in the middle of a map of the country.

NATALIE

You can start the morning in Boston, stop in Dallas over lunch and finish the day in San Francisco. All for the price of a T1 line. Our inflated travel budget is eviscerated by eighty-five percent... And most importantly to you guys on the road... No more Christmases in a hotel in Tulsa... No more hours lost to weather delays... You get to come home.

Ryan is in a state of silent panic.

Ryan enters and stops short.

RYAN

Tell me you're not taking this seriously.

CRAIG GREGORY

Yeah, that's why we brought the entire company in from the road - Because we're not taking this seriously.

RYAN

It doesn't make any sense. It's...

(searching)

... completely impersonal.

CRAIG GREGORY

Who am I even talking to?

RYAN

There's a methodology to what I do. A reason why it works.

CRAIG GREGORY

Ryan, Coke and IBM have been doing it for years. Just like anything, there's a few months of transition, but everyone settles in.

RYAN

Who are you taking off the road?

A beat.

CRAIG GREGORY

You don't get it. You're grounded, Ryan. Everyone is. It's done.

RYAN

Okay, what we do here is brutal and leaves people devastated, but there's a dignity to the way I do it.

CRAIG GREGORY

Stabbing people in the chest instead of the back?

Ryan rolls his eyes.

Craig's door opens and Natalie pops her head in.

NATALIE

You wanted to see me?

Craig goes to wave her off.

RYAN

Yeah, why don't you come in.

Natalie is confused but takes the chair next to Ryan.

CRAIG GREGORY

Great job in there, Nat.

NATALIE

Thank you. How's everyone taking it?

Natalie and Ryan hold a look for a second.

RYAN

(to Natalie)

Look, I appreciate your... zeal. And you have some good ideas. But you know nothing of the realities of my job. Sure, you can set up an iChat... but you don't know how people think.

NATALIE

Actually, I minored in psychology.

CRAIG GREGORY

Nice.

RYAN

(to Natalie)

Okay kiddo, fire me.

CRAIG GREGORY

Ryan, stop it.

RYAN

She's going to be doing this on a regular basis. You don't want to know if she can fire somebody?

CRAIG GREGORY

She just fired Ned.

RYAN

My dog could fire Ned.

(to Natalie)

Fire me.

CRAIG GREGORY

Ryan.

NATALIE

It's okay, I got this.

Ryan and Natalie turn to face each other.

NATALIE (CONT'D)

Mr. Bingham, I regret to inform you that your position is no longer available.

RYAN

Who the hell are you?

NATALIE

My name is Miss Keener and I'm here today to discuss your future.

RYAN

My future? I don't know you. The only person who can fire me is Craig Gregory.

NATALIE

Mr. Gregory hired me to handle this for him.

RYAN

Handle what? Handle me? Mr. Gregory hired me and he's the only one who can fire me. I'm going to talk to him.

Ryan gets up. Natalie gets up too.

NATALIE

Mr. Bingham...

RYAN

You can't follow me... You're on a computer screen. Remember?

NATALIE

(frustrated)

Ryan...

Ryan sits back down.

RYAN

Try again. Fire me.

NATALIE

I just did.

RYAN

Actually, you didn't. Now, fire me.

CRAIG GREGORY

Stop it, Ryan.

NATALIE

(ignores Craig)

Mr. Bingham, I'm here today to inform you that your position is no longer available.

RYAN

I'm fired?

NATALIE

Yes, you're fired.

RYAN

(aside)

Never say fired.

NATALIE

You've been let go.

RYAN

Why?

NATALIE

(breaks the moment)

This is a mythical situation. How could I possibly know why?

RYAN

You never know why. Why doesn't matter.

NATALIE

(back on track)

It's important not to focus on the "why" and rather to spend your energy thinking about your future.

RYAN

I'm going to spend my energy on suing you if you don't give me a reason that you're firing me.

NATALIE

Mr. Bingham, the reason is not important.

RYAN

Oh, so you're firing me without grounds.

(to Craig)

Now, I really have a lawsuit.

CRAIG GREGORY

Ryan, I think we know what you're trying to say...

NATALIE

(still in character)

Don't take this personally, Mr. Bingham.

Ryan stops.

RYAN

Personally?

(quiet and calm)

This is the most personal situation you will ever enter. So before you try to revolutionize my business, I'd like to know that you actually know my business.

Ryan is staring out his window watching a plane take flight.

Craig enters.

CRAIG GREGORY

Hell-of-a-way to welcome her to the team.

RYAN

Am I the only one who sees that by automating our own business, we're making ourselves irrelevant.

CRAIG GREGORY

(frankly...)

No... We're making you irrelevant.

Ryan shoots a look.

CRAIG GREGORY (CONT'D)

Hey, don't blame me. Blame fuel costs. Blame insurance premiums. Blame technology.

(a beat)

Watch yourself, Ryan. You're too young to be a dinosaur...

RYAN

I'm not... I'm not a dinosaur.

CRAIG GREGORY

I want you to show her the ropes.

RYAN

What do I know about what happens around here? Have Ferguson do it.

CRAIG GREGORY

I'm not talking about here.

A beat as Ryan registers what Craig means: The Road.

RYAN

No.

CRAIG GREGORY

Hey, you seem pretty confident that this girl doesn't know what she's doing...

RYAN

Excuse me. I just don't think a MySpace page qualifies you to rewire an entire company.

CRAIG GREGORY

Great. Well, here's your chance. Show her the magic. Take her through the paces.

RYAN

I'm not a fucking tour guide.

Craig cups one of his hands and places a FOLDED POST-IT between his fingers like a ship's sail.

CRAIG GREGORY

(re: his hand)

This is the boat.

Craig raises his other finger far away.

CRAIG GREGORY (CONT'D)

(re: his finger)

This is you.

A beat of Ryan taking in this ridiculous illustration.

CRAIG GREGORY (CONT'D)

Do you want to be in the boat?

RYAN

Yes. Alone.

CRAIG GREGORY

Ryan, we're ringing the bell. Rounding everybody up. If you want to stay out there a little longer, you can. But you're not going to be on your own.

(begins to leave)

Let me know.

Ryan churns.

Ryan is packing his ROLL-AWAY BAG. It is practiced and systematic. He's just about finished, when he notices the CUT-OUT of his sister's engagement photo.

He tries placing it in the open bag, but it is immediately clear that the photo is two inches to long. He tries putting it on an angle, but that doesn't help.

RYAN

Huh.

Ryan centers the cut-out again and tries to ZIP around it, but he can't get the zipper around the HEADS of the photo. For a moment, it almost seems like he's assaulting their tiny head with the zipper handle. Doesn't help.

A moment of silent frustration.

CUT TO:

Being pulled through an airport. The little heads of Ryan's sister and her fiance are poking out the top of the bag. The two zippers have been closed on either side of them as though they were tiny passengers peeking out the sunroof.

Ryan cuts right through the crowd, wheeling his carry-on towards the automatic check-in machines.

Ryan stops when he notices NATALIE saying goodbye to her BOYFRIEND - a kind of Hollister looking guy in his mid-twenties. He's not thrilled by the public affection. After a beat, they break and he exits.

Natalie sees Ryan and starts dragging her LARGE SUITCASE towards him. The SCRAPING against the terrazzo sends a shiver up Ryan's spine.

She arrives and sets the heavy bag down with a CLUNK. Ryan stares at her travel case for a beat then up to her.

NATALIE

What?

CUT TO:

Ryan pulls one out and tests the action.

NATALIE

I really like my luggage.

RYAN

That's exactly what it is. Luggage.

(off of Natalie's look)

You know how much time you lose by checking in?

NATALIE

I don't know, maybe five minutes waiting for...

RYAN

Thirty five minutes per flight. I travel two hundred seventy days a year. That makes one hundred fifty seven hours... That's Seven Days.

(points to her luggage)

You ready to throw away a whole week on that?

Natalie is attempting to repack her new bag in the middle of the airport. Ryan helps by throwing a couple things out.

Ryan spots various "bad lines", then sees a group of Asians.

RYAN

Bingo. Asians.

Ryan starts walking.

NATALIE

You can't be serious.

As they pass the first line - A FAMILY OF SIX.

RYAN

Never get behind people travelling with infants. I've never seen a stroller collapse in less than twenty minutes.

Second Line - AN ELDERLY COUPLE

RYAN (CONT'D)

Old people are worse. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left on Earth.

Third Line - A COUPLE MIDDLE EASTERN GUYS.

RYAN (CONT'D)

Five words. Randomly selected for additional screening.

They enter the fourth line behind the Asians.

RYAN (CONT'D)

Asians. They're light packers, treasure efficiency, and have a thing for slip-on shoes. God love'em.

NATALIE

That's racist.

RYAN

I'm like my mother. I stereotype. It's faster.

Ryan is just fastening his belt, having just gone through security, when we hear a beeping go off. Natalie is trying to find the metal on her body that has set off the machine. She also has forgotten to take her laptop out of her bag. It's a mess.

Ryan is sketching a theoretical book cover for "The Backback". Natalie is working on an Excel Document on her laptop - She's a loud tapper... Hitting the keys with violent strokes. It draws Ryan's attention and a raised eyebrow.

RYAN

Are you upset at your laptop?

NATALIE

No. Why?

RYAN

Fats Domino had a lighter touch.

NATALIE

I type with purpose.

RYAN

What are you working on so furiously?

NATALIE

I'm building a work flow of firing techniques. Questions & responses. Actions & reactions. A script that works kind of like a tributary, taking you through the steps of firing someone.

RYAN

Who is it for?

NATALIE

Theoretically, you could put it in the hands of anybody and they could be downsizing immediately. All they have to do is follow the steps.

RYAN

Natalie, what is it, you think we do here?

NATALIE

We prepare the newly unemployed for the emotional and physical hurdles of job hunting while... Minimizing potential legal blowback?

RYAN

That's what we're selling. But it's not what we're doing.

NATALIE

Okay, what are we doing?

RYAN

Our job is to make limbo tolerable - To ferry wounded souls across the river of dread and humiliation to the point at which hope's bright shore is dimly visible...

(frankly)

And then to stop the boat, shove'em in the water, and make them swim while we row back to the palace of their banishment to present the employers with our bills.

NATALIE

That was really impressive. You rehearse that?

Natalie smiles and goes back to her work. Ryan goes to say something, but holds back for now.

Ryan zips through the wandering types as Natalie tries to keep up. Ryan's phone rings. He sees the caller ID. Smiles.

RYAN

(to Natalie)

I got to grab this. I'll meet you at the rental lot.

Natalie nods and keeps moving. Ryan picks up.

RYAN

Hey, I was hoping I'd hear from you.

INTERCUT WITH:

Alex is on her cell phone as a junior behind her folds a portable projector screen.

ALEX

I'm in Hotlanta. I need a rib joint recommend bad.

RYAN

(smiles)

Fat Matt's. Bring a bib.

Ryan turns into an elevator well to talk.

ALEX

You haven't called.

RYAN

You know, I didn't know what was appropriate...

Alex stops. She moves to a quieter place.

ALEX

Ryan, I'm not some waitress you banged in a snow storm. The word "Appropriate" has no place in our collective vocabulary. I'm the woman you don't have to worry about.

RYAN

This sounds like a trick.

ALEX

Next time you're worried about manners - Don't. If you want to call - Call. Just think of me as yourself... only with a vagina.

Ryan lights up... This woman fucking rocks. Then recovers.

RYAN

When am I going to see you?

ALEX

I'm out of Hartsfield, into IAD, then a connection at ORD into SDF.

RYAN

(compassionate)

Oh... sorry.

ALEX

Tell me about it.

RYAN

How long is your layover in O'Hare? They've got multiples into SDF... Think you could push?

ALEX

(smiles)

I can push.

Joy.

Ryan and Natalie ride, briefcases in hand. Natalie is swaying back and forth. Ryan notices. Is she nervous? Excited?

Ding - The elevator door opens.

Ryan and Natalie enter the door to find a reception desk on an empty floor. Scattered telephones sit on the ground where desks used to be. A few desks in one corner are still manned.

Natalie tries not to show: It's all becoming very real.

RYAN

(to desk girl)

Ryan Bingham, from CTC.

The desk girl looks up from her work. She knows who they are.

Ryan and Natalie pass rows of cubicles. Heads begin to pop up to see their arrival. Natalie accidentally makes eye contact with one guy, then quickly shifts her gaze forward.

Ryan and Natalie sit next to each other at a polyurethane conference table.

RYAN

All you have to do today is watch and listen. When I talk about the strategy packet. You hand them one of these...

Ryan points to a stack of packets.

NATALIE

You ever find it strange that termination comes with a packet.

RYAN

Everything important in life comes with a packet.

MONTAGE OF MORE REAL PEOPLE REACTING TO BEING FIRED

A SERIES OF REAL PEOPLE sit down across from Ryan and Natalie

RYAN

Thank you for coming by. As you're probably well aware, this is a tough economic climate and your company is not immune.

REAL PEOPLE tighten up as they begin to catch on.

RYAN

While I wish I was here with better news, the reason you and I are meeting is this is your final week of employment here.

REAL PEOPLE blame all sorts of people and situations that they personally hold responsible.

RYAN

This is not a time to look for blame. Your position simply no longer exists.

REAL PEOPLE respond further. Some are enraged. Some are polite. One is even grateful.

RYAN

I understand why you are saying these things. It's perfectly natural to feel this way. I want you to take the next week to explore this strategy packet...

Ryan nods to Natalie who we now see begrudgingly HANDING PACKETS to all of the REAL PEOPLE we've already met.

RYAN

Fill out the skill set work sheet... Use the hopes and dreams diagram... And the tree of aspirations.

We SEE the "TREE OF ASPIRATIONS" sheet.

RYAN

(with emphasis)

The answers are all in there.

We see more packets getting handed out as Ryan repeats...

RYAN

The answers are all in there.

(another person)

The answers...

(another person)

... are-all-in-there.

(another person)

CUT TO:

BOB (AN ACTOR) PRESENTING A PHOTO OF HIS CHILDREN

BOB

And what do you suggest I tell them?

BOB. Dry red eyes from tears of rage stare down the lens. Natalie can't hold back any longer.

NATALIE

(a suggestion)

Perhaps you're underestimating the positive effect your career transition may have on your children.

Ryan looks at Natalie like she's out of her mind.

BOB

Positive effect?

NATALIE

Well, tests have shown that children under moderate trauma have a tendency to apply themselves academically as a method of coping.

BOB

Go fuck yourself. That's what my kids'll think.

Natalie shrinks. Ryan immediately covers.

RYAN

Your children's admiration is important to you?

BOB

Yeah. It was.

RYAN

(frankly)

Well, I doubt they ever admired you, Bob.

Bob looks up shocked and pissed.

BOB

Hey asshole, aren't you here to console me?

RYAN

I'm not a shrink, Bob. I'm a wake up call. You know why kids love athletes?

BOB

Because they screw lingerie models.

RYAN

No, that's why we love athletes. Kids love them because they follow their dreams.

BOB

Yeah, well I can't dunk.

RYAN

But you can cook.

Natalie looks to Ryan - Where is he going with this?

BOB

What are you talking about?

Ryan picks up Bob's resume.

RYAN

Your resume says you minored in French Culinary Arts. Most students work the frier at KFC. You bussed tables at Il Picatorre to support yourself. Then you got out of college and started working here.

(looks up at Bob)

How much did they first pay you to give up on your dreams?

BOB

(flat)

Twenty seven thousand a year.

RYAN

At what point were you going to stop and go back to what made you happy?

Bob simply shrugs.

RYAN

Do you believe in fate, Bob?

BOB

Fate?

RYAN

Yeah. You know, the mysterious ways in which we wind up doing the things we were meant to do.

BOB

(offering)

I met my wife at a gas station.

RYAN

Exactly. Well, I think fate is telling you to do something, Bob.

Bob looks up and meets eyes with Ryan.

RYAN

I see guys who work for the same company their entire lives. Clock in. Clock out. Never a moment of happiness.

(pauses for effect)

Not everyone gets this kind of opportunity. The chance for rebirth. If not for yourself... Do it for your kids.

Bob's eyes begin to water again. He's a changed man.

Ryan shoots Natalie a look - Hand over the packet.

Natalie jumps to attention and hands Bob a packet.

There's a BUSINESS WOMAN waiting in the regular line. Ryan walks right past her and gets into the ELITE LINE. They are now both first in their respective lines for the counter. The woman looks over at Ryan and sighs. Natalie holds back, confused by Ryan's actions and wanting to avoid confrontation. The DESK CLERK frees up and gestures for Ryan to step forward. Ryan begins wheeling his bag forward. Meanwhile, the woman lifts her hand in outrage.

BUSINESS WOMAN

I've been waiting ten minutes. He just waltzes in and gets to cut in line.

DESK CLERK

We reserve priority assistance for our Hilton Honors members.

Ryan grabs a BROCHURE for ELITE MEMBERSHIP off the desk and hands it to the business woman.

RYAN

You should look into it - The promotions are great...

The woman bats it out of Ryan's hand onto the floor.

BUSINESS WOMAN

Fuck off.

Ryan looks back at the desk clerk and smiles. The desk clerk swipes his card. Ryan's DIGITAL NUMBER bumps up another thousand points.

Natalie is washing her hands, when she stops to look at herself in the mirror.

45.

RYAN (CONT'D)

After a beat, she hears someone CRYING in one of the stalls. She goes to see if the woman is okay, then stops herself - Maybe I fired her. She grabs a paper towel, dries off her hands, and leaves.

Natalie sits back down at the table a little visibly shaken.

RYAN

You okay?

NATALIE

(covers quickly)

Yeah. Fine.

Just then, their food arrives... And there's a lot of food. Natalie's eyes move back and forth trying to figure out why there seems to be three main courses and a bunch of sides.

NATALIE

Hungry, much?

RYAN

Our expense account allots for forty dollars each on dinner. I plan on grabbing every mile I can.

NATALIE

Okay, you got to fill me in on this mile business. What's that all about? Are you talking like frequent flier miles?

Ryan gives Natalie a look - Is she ready for this information?

RYAN

Your really want to know?

NATALIE

(mock serious)

I'm dying to know.

RYAN

I don't spend a nickel, if I can help it, unless it somehow profits my mileage account. I'm not talking hotel rooms and rental cars either, but internet services, cell phone, music downloads, teleflorists. The works. I shop them according to the miles they pay and I pit them against each other for the most value.

46.

NATALIE

So, what are you saving up for? Hawaii? South of France?

RYAN

No, it's not like that... The miles are the goal.

NATALIE

That's it? You're saving to save?

RYAN

Let's just say I've got a number in mind and haven't hit it yet.

NATALIE

Wow. Seems a little abstract. What's your target?

RYAN

I'd rather not.

NATALIE

(teasing)

It's a secret target?

RYAN

It's ten million miles.

NATALIE

Huh. Isn't ten million just a number?

RYAN

Pi is just a number.

NATALIE

I guess we all need a hobby.

Ryan looks back at Natalie - Hobby?

NATALIE (CONT'D)

Oh hey, I didn't mean to belittle your collection. I get it. Sounds cool.

RYAN

I'd be the seventh person to do it. More people have walked on the moon.

NATALIE

Do they give you a parade or something?

47.

RYAN

Lifetime Exec Platinum status. You get to meet the Chief Pilot, Maynard Finch. And... They put your name on the side of a plane.

NATALIE

Men get such a hard-on from putting their name on stuff... You guys don't grow up - You just need to pee on everything.

RYAN

Now, who's stereotyping?

NANCY

Fear of mortality. It's like Yes, you're going to die one day.

RYAN

And why do you suppose that's singular to men?

NATALIE

Probably cause you can't have babies.

Ryan can't help but laugh a little.

NATALIE (CONT'D)

If I had that many miles, I'd just show up at the airport, look up at one of those big destination boards, pick a place and go.

This idea sinks in for a second with both of them.

Ryan is laying in bed wearing a Hilton bathrobe. He's reviewing his sister's wedding invite when his BLACKBERRY BUZZES on the night stand. He reaches over to check it. It's a text message:

Alex: "Can't fall asleep."

Ryan types back:

Ryan: "Me too. Just laying here."

INTERCUT WITH:

48.

Alex is in a t-shirt, lying in bed. She types away at her BLACKBERRY and presses SEND.

Ryan's BLACKBERRY BUZZES again.

Alex: "You should rub one out."

RYAN

(chuckles)

Thanks for the advice.

Types back.

Ryan: "Only fair if you do too."

BLACKBERRY BUZZES again.

Alex: "Way ahead of you."

RYAN

Man alive.

Ryan: "Call me next time so I can listen."

Alex: ";) Have sweet dreams about me."

Ryan smiles. He stares at the message for a second, then sets the blackberry down and turns off the light.

Natalie is standing with a camera in her hands, giving directions.

NATALIE

Left, left, left, left... one more inch... and stop.

Reveal: Ryan is placing the CUT-OUT of Julie and Jim. The camera POV makes it look like Julie and Jim are standing in front of St. Louis International Airport.

NATALIE

I don't get it.

RYAN

My sister is cooky. She thinks this is charming... Like the gnome thing.

49.

NATALIE

No, I mean... why would your sister want a fake photo in front of the St. Louis Airport?

RYAN

She should be so lucky to visit Lambert Field. The Wright Brothers flew through there...

(points out the conical main terminal)

The domed main terminal was the first of its kind. A precursor to everything from JFK to DeGualle.

NATALIE

(lame)

Wow. Pretty sweet.

Natalie takes the photo.

RYAN

Why she wants dozens of reminders of all the places she hasn't been is beyond me.

NATALIE

Well, I'm sure she's going to be crushed for having missed this airport.

RYAN

Look - Before Lindbergh could cross the Atlantic, he took off from one of those runways... Ever wondered why they call it the Spirit of St. Louis?

NATALIE

(quickly)

No.

Ryan goes to say something, but Natalie is already gone.

Ryan and Natalie sit stoically as a YOUNG ASIAN GUY rants about why they are idiots to fire him.

YOUNG ASIAN GUY

... And another thing...? You know how fucked this place is without me? You know how fucked this place is without me? Fucked in the ass, man.

50.

YOUNG ASIAN GUY (cont'd)

I am the one thing preventing this place from being totally fucked in the ass.

The young asian guy snaps up one of the PACKETS and leaves, slamming the door behind himself.

RYAN

Sometimes, they just need to vent.

NATALIE

Please, for the love of God, can I fire the next one?

Ryan gives it some thought.

CUT TO:

A professional African-American woman wearing a smart suit sits down at the conference table. Natalie sits up.

KAREN

I'm here to be fired, right?

NATALIE

We're here to talk about your future.

KAREN

You don't have to sugar coat it. I get the drill. What are they offering?

NATALIE

Inside the packet you'll find a clearly worked out severance package.

KAREN

Give me the bullet points.

NATALIE

Three months pay. Six months medical. A full year of placement services through our company, CTC.

KAREN

Placement services? How generous.

51.

NATALIE

Commonly, it takes one month of searching for every ten thousand dollars you expect to earn in salary.

KAREN

So I could be looking for a while.

NATALIE

Not necessarily...

KAREN

Oh, don't sweat it. I'm pretty confident about my plans.

NATALIE

(spirits lifted)

Oh yeah?

KAREN

Yeah. Can you tell me? Is high tide in the morning or the evening?

NATALIE

I don't know. Why?

KAREN

There's this beautiful bridge by my apartment. I need to figure out what time to jump off it.

Natalie begins to tremble.

Natalie bursts out the doors and sits on a bench. She's freaked out. Ryan is five steps behind her. He puts a hand on her shoulder.

RYAN

People say these things all the time. It comes with the trade.

NATALIE

They do?

RYAN

Sure. People are always saying crazy stuff. They get worked up.

NATALIE

She was so calm.

52.

RYAN

(not quite sure)

I think that's a good sign.

NATALIE

So they don't actually ever do it?

RYAN

No... it's just talk.

NATALIE

How do you know? Do you follow up?

RYAN

I mean, no, nothing good can come of that, but I don't think you should worry about it.

Natalie is clearly still worried.

RYAN (CONT'D)

This is the job. Taking people at their most fragile moment and setting them adrift.

BEGIN MONTAGE

A PLANE PULLING BACK ITS GATE AND TAKING OFF

WHITE COLLAR PEOPLE ARE HANDED PACKETS

RYAN AND ALEX ENTERING A NEW HOTEL ROOM. THEY'RE BECOMING MORE COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER

Looking out the window at the passing landscape. Over the pastures and roads, we see GRAPHIC WHITE LINES AND NUMBERS denoting each mile as they click by. Ryan tears a page out of AMERICAN WAY MAGAZINE outlining their mileage program and hands it to Natalie. GARDENER DRIVES A RIDER MOWER ACROSS A TINY STRETCH OF GRASS

Ryan turns a corner to find Natalie talking to her computer screen with headphones on.

She's having an iChat with someone, but we only hear her side of the conversation. Ryan decides to listen in for a second.

NATALIE

I'll be back soon. Not really sure how long this whole exercise is supposed to last. He's fine... It's hard for these guys to accept change, you know.

(listens, rolls eyes)

I... I'm not even going to answer that... No, I can't even think of him that way... He's old.

Ryan frowns. Checks a mirror. A NEW OFFICE - MORE EMPLOYEES REACT TO BEING LAID OFF WE SEE SHOTS OF VARIOUS SLICES OF THE AMERICAN LANDSCAPE FROM THOUSANDS OF FEET IN THE AIR

A 757 touches down on the runway. MUSIC BEGINS TO FADE AS THE MONTAGE COMES TO A CLOSE ON... RYAN'S HEADSHOT - sitting on an EASLE.

Ryan stands before a similar crowd as the opening of the film.

RYAN

Okay. This is where it gets a little difficult, but stay with me. You have a new backpack... but this time, I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, people around the office, friends of friends and work your way to the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Now move into family members - cousins, aunts, and uncles. Get your sisters and your brothers and you parents. Get them all in that backpack. And finally your husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend. Get them in their too.

A titter through the crowd. For the first time, we see Natalie near the side, watching.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Don't worry. I'm not going to ask you to light it on fire.

Light laughter.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components of your life. Feel the straps cutting into your shoulders. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets and compromises.

Ryan lets the weight sink in.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Now set that bag down.

You can feel the relief in the room.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

You don't need to carry all that weight.

Noticeable agreement.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Some animals were meant to carry each other. To live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star-crossed lovers. Monogamous swans. We are not one of those animals.

Ryan focuses towards his conclusion.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

The slower we move, the faster we die. We are not swans. We're sharks.

Ryan has finished his session and is talking to eager stragglers. Ryan accepts a business card and elaborates on one of his theories. Meanwhile, down the hall, Natalie is finishing a phone call. She looks shell shocked. She closes her phone and pockets it in silence.

AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PLANE touches down.

We're following a HILTON SHUTTLE down a street of PALM TREES.

Natalie and Ryan ride back to the airport. We catch them mid- conversation as Natalie drills Ryan on his theory.

NATALIE

Never...?

Ryan smiles to the few other riders as if apologizing.

NATALIE

(CONT'D)

You never want to get married? Never want kids?

RYAN

Is that so bizarre?

NATALIE

Yes. Yes it is.

RYAN

I don't see the value.

Natalie sighs.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Sell it to me.

NATALIE

What?

RYAN

Sell me marriage.

NATALIE

I... Uh... How how about love?

RYAN

Pff...

NATALIE

Okay. Stability?

RYAN

How many stabile marriages do you know?

NATALIE

Someone to talk to, spend your life with?

RYAN

I'm surrounded by people to talk to. I doubt that will change.

The shuttle stops and everyone goes to grab their bags.

Ryan and Natalie enter, still having the same conversation.

NATALIE

How about just not dying alone?

Ryan stops to address this.

RYAN

Starting when I was twelve, we moved each one of my grandparents into a nursing facility. My parents went the same way.

(a beat)

Make no mistake. We all die alone.

Ryan turns, thinks of something, then turns back.

RYAN

(CONT'D) (adding)

Those cult members down in San Diego with the white sneakers and little Dixie cups of Kool-Aid. They didn't die alone.

Natalie looks steamed.

RYAN

(CONT'D)

Just saying - There's options.

Out of nowhere, Natalie starts crying.

RYAN

(almost silent)

Oh fuck.

Natalie is now balling in the middle of the lobby.

NATALIE

Brian left me.

RYAN

Oh, hey... I...

Ryan goes to hug Natalie and she simply folds into his arms - A mop of tears. Ryan looks around for a place to set her down. Instead, he finds... ALEX - Who gives a questioning look to the young sobbing girl.

RYAN

Hi. Alex this is Natalie. Natalie, this is my... friend, Alex.

ALEX

I should give you both a moment.

Natalie attempts a recovery. It's not graceful.

NATALIE

No, it's fine. I'm fine. Just stupid emotions.

Natalie gives Alex a firm handshake.

ALEX

Maybe a drink?

Ryan goes to challenge the idea, when...

NATALIE

Now we're talking.

Natalie leads the way. Alex and Ryan exchange quick hellos.

CUT TO:

THE SCREEN OF NATALIE'S CELL PHONE TEXT READS: "I Think it's time we c other people"

The three share a booth. Natalie is sipping a drink. She seems to have settled a little.

ALEX

He broke up with you over text message?

RYAN

(soft dig)

That's kind of like firing people over the internet.

Both Natalie and Alex shoot Ryan a look.

ALEX

(re: the ex-boyfriend)

What a weasely prick.

NATALIE

Yeah, but what does that make me? Someone who falls for a prick?

ALEX

We all fall for them. Pricks are spontaneous, unpredictable, and fun. And then we're surprised when they turn out to be pricks.

NATALIE

I followed him to Omaha.

RYAN

You did?

NATALIE

I had a job waiting for me in San Fran, when he got an offer from ConAgra. He told me we could start a life together. So I followed him.

RYAN

To Nebraska.

NATALIE

I look in the mirror and I just see compromise... I'm supposed to do something.

ALEX

You'll do plenty.

NATALIE

I just can't... I thought I'd be engaged by now.

(catches herself)

No offense.

ALEX

It's alright.

RYAN

None taken.

NATALIE

When I was sixteen, I thought by twenty three, I would be married, maybe have a kid... Corner office by day, entertaining at night. I was supposed to be driving a Grand Cherokee by now.

ALEX

Life can underwhelm you that way.

NATALIE

Now I have my sights on twenty nine, because thirty is just way too... apocalyptic. I mean, where did you think you'd be by...

Natalie catches herself, having no idea how old Alex is.

ALEX

It doesn't work that way.

RYAN

At a certain point, you stop with the deadlines.

ALEX

They can be a little counterproductive.

NATALIE

I don't want to say anything that's... anti-feminist. I mean, I really appreciate everything your generation did for me.

ALEX

(my generation?)

It was our pleasure.

RYAN

Well done.

NATALIE

But sometimes it feels like no matter how much success I have, it all won't matter until I find the right guy.

ALEX

You really thought this guy was the one.

NATALIE

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I could have made it work. He just really fit the bill.

RYAN

The bill?

NATALIE

My type. You know, white collar. College grad. Loves dogs. Likes funny movies. Six foot one. Brown hair. Kind eyes. Works in finance but is Outdoorsy, you know, on the weekends.

(we think she's done)

I always imagined he'd have a single syllable name like Matt or John or... Dave. In a perfect world, he drives a Four Runner and the only thing he loves more than me is his golden lab. Oh... and a nice smile.

(back to Alex and Ryan)

How about you?

This catches both Alex and Ryan off guard.

RYAN

I'm not sure if...

NATALIE

I meant Alex...

RYAN

Right.

ALEX

Huh, let me think for a sec.

(mulls it over)

Well, by the time you're thirty four, all the physical requirements are pretty much out the window. I mean you secretly prey he'll be taller than you.

Ryan smiles.

ALEX

(CONT'D)

Not an asshole would be nice? Just someone who enjoys my company. Comes from a good family - You don't think about that when you're younger.

(thinking)

Wants kids... Likes kids... Wants kids. Healthy enough to play catch with his future son one day.

We can tell Ryan is taking a serious interest in this.

ALEX

(CONT'D)

Please let him earn more than I do. That doesn't make sense now, but believe me, it will one day. Otherwise it's just a recipe for disaster.

(reaching)

Hopefully some hair on his head...? But it's not exactly a deal-breaker anymore. Nice smile... Yep, a nice smile just might do it.

Alex looks to Ryan. He has a nice smile.

NATALIE

Wow. That was depressing.

Alex and Ryan react - It's not that bad.

NATALIE

(CONT'D)

I should just date lesbians.

ALEX

Tried it. We're no picnic ourselves.

Natalie looks worse than when the conversation started.

NATALIE

I don't mind being married to my career, and I don't expect it to hold me in bed as I fall asleep.

(looks up)

I just don't want to settle.

ALEX

You're young. Right now you see settling as some sort of failure.

NATALIE

It is. By definition.

ALEX

Don't worry, by the time someone is right for you, it won't feel like settling... And the only person left to judge you will be the twenty four year old girl with a target on your back.

Natalie cracks a smile. Ryan looks to Alex. They've grown closer.